Casual dating done right can be a great way to find love, but only if you do it with a mature attitude, taking those early dates for what they are— opportunities to get to know someone better, to find out if you have chemistry, and to figure out if you want to embark on a relationship together.It’s so much easier to bounce back from a rejection and work up the courage for future dating opportunities if you’ve been made to feel like the other person truly respects you, even if they didn’t want to pursue a relationship with you.As I knew all too well, when someone asks you out it’s easy to get super awkward about it if you don’t feel the same way.
Sometimes, like Monica, Verily's relationship editor, I would find myself on what my friends and I dubbed “accidental dates” because I either didn’t realize that I had been asked out on a date in the first place, or because I just didn’t know how to turn a guy down kindly.
It wasn’t until I was on the receiving end of the most graceful and kind rejections of my life that I realized what I’d been getting wrong all that time.
Collins corners Elizabeth Bennet and asks her (well, more like tells her) to marry him? Collins are rare; it takes guts to express a romantic interest in someone, and most people have enough self-awareness and humility to know a rejection when they see one.
She rejects him politely but firmly and then has to repeat that rejection at least four times before she can escape the room, but even then it’s clear he still hasn’t got the message. That doesn’t mean that rejecting someone is ever easy, or free from awkwardness entirely, but it doesn’t have to be that hard.
The fastest way to hurt someone’s pride is to make them feel like a crazy stalker for asking you out.