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I’ve never really gotten past the dating phase, so I personally haven’t had to cross this bridge.
But I do know, that I push back on my kids all the time.
With a divorced mom as a date, I know that she will understand when the kids trump our plans.
However, with a date who is not a divorced mom, the same rule applies.
I don’t think I will always do this, and there are certain moments when the phone definitely needs to be turned off, but while my kids are still pre-college, I’m at least going to make sure there is no emergency. But then there are my boundaries with both my kids and my ex that I have to enforce as well. But when the text dings and it is, in fact, one of my kids … Let’s take this from the perspective of a first date, rather than a developing relationship.